We fought so much and he hurt me so bad. When we talked last night he was almost in tears. He apologized for everything. It made me cry to see that he actually was back to the person I fell in love with almost 3yrs ago. I wish he would have woken up and seen he was such a dick months ago. But it felt so good to just here I'm sorry and I love you I miss you and I want to prove to you and our son that I'm better and I'm going to be here. I wish I was still in his arms. It felt so good after all this time. Especially when he was there in the hospital with me. I never thought that after this sunmer we had I would and could still love him but I do. I miss him more than ever since we're apart. I hate we had so many different people in our shit we just fell apart and exploded against each other. It should have turned out differently. I miss my chipmunk.

Stuck on fucking bed rest. Now I have to be at this house every fucking day all day. I hate my life. Why couldn't he have changed when I was still living with him?? Now he's different but I'm staying with my god parents. I wouldn't mind it but their so over bearing. I can't do shit and I can't see or talk to him. I feel like their trying to reduce me to feeling like in 12. Fuck that. I'm tired of bed rest already and it hasn't been a whole day yet. I hate this house. I hate being asked a million and one questions about every move I make I hate being lectures at every twist and turn and I don't want my mom thrown in my face every damn minute. I want to pull my hair in frustration. God last night was so scary but I was so happy to see him again. I've missed him so much. But I was so upset that it took me leaving him and ignoring him for him to grow up and change. But now I'm in this fucked up living situation and I feel like shit. I just don't want to be here anymore I feel trapped