I just cant get over how pissed off I am right now. I've told this fucker all fucking day and last night I need to go do something important but what does this asshole do?? He fucking takes my car stays gone all day then fucking leaves again. Wtf bitch??? If you had something to do your irritating ass would be calling me non stop cussin me out and everything. But since it's him who doesn't have to do shit he doesn't give a flying fuck. I'm getting so fucking fed up with this one way street shit. Why is it that he can always get what the fuck he wants?? I Don't get anything I want or need?? Ugh I feel like I'm always getting the short end of the fucking stick. How many times do I have to keep bringing up the same shit over and over again? I spun like a fucking broken record. It's groundhogs day everyday now. He yells, argues, and smooth talks his way to get everything he wants while I'm just left to fucking deal with what Evers left. He makes me so upset and stressed out sometimes. I'm pissed off all the fucking time. The only time im not stressed and angry is when I'm fucked up now. If I'm not sober I feel like shit. I feel violent and depressed and just idk just fucking stuck. Like I'm not being heard and paid attention too and it's driving me crazy. Ugh I an hear his fucking voice already chill out marya your doing the most your tripping your being over dramatic your showing out your being a bitch your making your self mad your stressing your self out your making ugly faces your always mad I don't wanna see that shit everyday cheer up focus on the positive just chill I'm sorry everything's gonna work out its okay ugh just cut the bullshit man fuck! It's like all he can see is that he's always right and he doesn't do shit wrong. I wanna pull my hair and scream at the top of my lungs!! What can i do when I know I can never win in the situation?? It makes it even worse that I love him so much an so badly just want things to work and get better but there's a road block that's keeping that from happening... I hope somebody's drinking at my brothers house. I need a shot so that I can chill out before I attempt to talk to him about everything again. That is if he'll even listen. If my at least I'll be buzzed enough to say fuck it and go to sleep. I need all the rest I can get before my interview tomorrow. If I can get a good paying job at least I can focus on taking better care of myself and treat myself to things I want and need. I miss being pampered. Here's to getting my shit together.