I feel very awkward about my body now. My manager called me cow yesterday for ordering breakfast food after work. It made me feel bad. Like he's always making little comments and rude remarks about me and my weight. He always makes it a point to say how gorgeous his sister was when she was pregnant and how small she stayed and how she got her figure right back. Ugh it really makes me feel depressed that I have 5 months and some weeks left of being pregnant. My boyfriends no help either. He doesn't make me feel beautiful or even the slightest bit pretty. I feel like shit. Some days I feel so just off I just lay in bed and cry. I keep wondering when I'm going to feel that happiness that I see other expecting mothers feeling. Or least when I'll feel like I'm not completely alone. It hurts me every night to feel and be so alone but have to smile and pretend like everything's okay during the day.

Prego complaints :/

Ugh I feel fat and moody and just plain uncomfortable. I'm always hungry and I'm always crying. If I'm not eating or bawling my eyes out I'm sleeping or limping around on my swollen feet. I see why pregnant women only smile of their eating or when their about to
Drop their babies finally. I'm starting to show and I feel very self conscious about it. Everybody's starting to notice and I don't like it. I feel like I'm too big and ugh idk I just wish you could have a baby without being a gasey eating crying swollen burping hag. Hopefully things will get better as I get further along.

The dirty bastard I hope he fucking dies

Here we go again he's on a angry rampage and everyone is to blame. Is this what I'm in for for the next 18yrs ??? He's such a child. All he can do is blame every single problem on everybody else nothing is his fault. Nothing. It's frustrating. Everything no matter how small or how big is everybody else's fault. It's psychological hell. Pure hell. I thought I was going to sleep in and eat a yummy breakfast run my belly and feel the baby squirm around. But change of plans. I'm now sitting up in a weird ass depressed cold mood trying to shield my feelings so I don't cry and look like a weakling to his family who are now all awake and all around. I feel very embarrassed and irritated. I don't feel like eating anymore and I actually just want to go to work. Here they come wanting to talk and stir up trouble since he just stormed out. I hope tomorrow when I go to the doctors she can give me a number of somebody I can talk to. I don't want to be depressed my whole pregnancy. It was hard enough to deal with before now all my emotions are intensified. I'm hurting...and I need someone or something so nothing happens to my baby or me.

It's a never ending story with him. All I get is lie after lie after lie. It's gotten to the point where I dont believe anything he says. He could say I'll be right back going to the bathroom and I won't believe him. It's so frustrating being with someone like that. It's making me paranoid and constantly angry. I feel like I'm constantly getting the short end of the stick in this relationship. I'm always the one ending up fucked, I'm always the one ending up with nothing but fucking disappointment. I hate getting up everyday just because I know I'm going to be embarrassed and I'm going to get fucked over. It never fails.

I hate my fucking life right now. I feel so miserable and unhappy when all I want to do is be happy an prepare for my baby. God my baby's father is such a bastard he's so mean and refuses to be understanding to everything I'm going through. I'm so tired of crying an feeling so alone. I don't have anybody to talk to that understands me. It hurts so much not being able to communicate with anybody in my life. I feel isolated and confused. I miss my parents more than ever right now. I'm praying that my baby doesn't feel any of these emotions that I do. It would kill me to know that I'm making him or her said too.