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Today was the scariest day of my life. I wanna say that it wasn't my fault...but it has to be....I mad him mad...I made him yell....its my fault right?? I feel like even with thoughts racing across my mind that my minds blank....I'm about to start my shift and I'm shaking all over and I haven't been able to look anyone in eye....I feel so ashamed that I mad him so mad and he almost got taken away....I feel like the worst girlfriend in the world...like I'm not worthy....I'm scum....I believe that every word he spat out at me was right I am a dumb bitch...there's nothing about me that's good or anything that's worth being with....I'm so ashamed...I didnt deserve his sympathy....I don't deserve anyone's I suppose....everything that happens is my fault...and like he says...I deserve the outcomes of what happens....I have to learn...I have too...I hate myself so much for wanting to cry I shouldn't even be thinking of it....I brought what happened upon myself...I deserve my punishments...I'm not a good person the way I think I am...I deserve this...if I do the right things and be a good gf he'll love me and things will get better...I know they will...I have to be better...I will be better for him...I will...

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